Ask Jan – Coaching Tips for Easy Solutions

Q: I spend most holidays on my own. Don’t mean to sound like a loser but my family is spread out across the country. I don’t have kids, and I am not currently dating anyone.This is usually a recipe for loneliness. Honestly, I can get really bitter and resentful of all those happy holiday types. I am so tired of hearing about how to survive the ‘over-stimulation’ of holiday time. What about those of us who feel forgotten and irrelevant because family time is just not possible?
– Scroogy with a Good Reason

A: You make an excellent point. Many families are far from each other. Financial resources don’t make travel possible. Split families means that many of us do not spend holiday time surrounded in familial confusion. It can be a real challenge to enjoy the ‘family-oriented’ aspect of the holidays when you don’t have a ready-made and available family. But there is good news. Positive

Psychology research indicates that we can generate positive feelings about things quite readily – when we make the effort. Here are a few tricks.

  • Change your standards, and you will change the way you feel. Instead of comparing yourself to the perfect family, compare yourself to the most problematic family you can imagine.   Spending time on your own is preferable to entrapment with a psycho family. Can’t imagine a scenario worse than your own? Try working in the food bank. That’s always a good reality check.
  • Start now to plan your holiday adventures. Even people with many family obligations spend time with their friends. Book now so that your social calendar is full throughout the holiday season.

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