Older Sperm = Risky Reproduction

So you are madly in love with your Silver Fox? You can see a nice lifestyle ahead with a man who knows who he is and has the confidence and life experience to make things happen. He’s spent years building his career and now has the time to dedicate to your relationship. He’s even open to starting a family with you and talks about being a devoted father.

Man Holding Baby Shoe

All this sounds great. Older men often make excellent husbands and fathers. Partly this is due to a decrease in the career-orientation of many men as they enter their 40s. With less emphasis on work, older men turn their attention to their partner and kids.

This pattern fits perfectly with younger women who wish to have children in their 20s. They can focus on mothering without worrying about their career needs, then head back to school or out to the workforce in their late 30s once their kids are teenagers. Younger mothers can benefit from the social advantages of being with an older man.

While this sounds ideal, younger women may want to reconsider. Research shows that older men are at a biological disadvantage when it comes to fatherhood. Older sperm contains more genetic mutations than younger sperm, and may contribute to greater health issues in offspring, such as autism and mental disorders.

ZAP baby Shoe

This should be no surprise as the same tendency has been noted in older women who delay motherhood and then must rely on the fertilization of older eggs when having children. And of course, the rise in potential health issues of offspring is well known when both parents are more mature.

While the statistical significance of older sperm in producing offspring with health issues is not yet known, it is important to recognize the potential danger of having children with a Silver Fox. If your man is 45 or older, you may wish to reconsider his baby-daddy status. If your man is in his 50s or beyond you might consider having children with the help of a sperm donor. Older men often are wise enough to know that biological fatherhood is so much less important than social fatherhood, and that raising children well is not related to genetic connection.

Romantics will argue that the most important thing about having children is the love that is felt between the parents. Yes of course, this is important. Love that grows out of commitment, passion and intimacy is a solid resource for a child-raising together – even when that child may have challenging health issues. Acknowledging the role of aging sperm in baby-making does not mean that this should be avoided at all costs. Rather, its just one of many factors to consider when choosing when and with whom to have a family.


Beautiful Toddler




Link: http://www.9news.com/story/life/moms/2015/07/14/men-sperm-health/30135801/

On Mating in Captivity – Help for those in a sexless relationship

It can happen to any of us – and perhaps it will happen to all of us. You love your partner. And you know they love you. You created a good life together.  They make you laugh. They get you thinking about things differently. They keep you on track.

So why did your sex life disappear? Esther Perel, a family and couple’s therapist in New York city knows why. In her book, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic Perel explains how familiarity breeds a lack of desire in relationships that were once filled with passion.  The unfortunate truth is that this is almost inevitable, as the heckic-ness of daily life keeps us so busy and disconnected from our partners, that familiarity soon grows into disengagement. And once disengaged from our partners, the journey back to connection can feel daunting.

The good news is that conscious awareness of the challenges of maintaining passion in long term relationships is an important first step in keeping passion alive, or restoring passion to your existing relationship. Perel suggests a wide variety of ‘usual’ activities, like masturbation and role play, to re-awaken passion. These techniques create a lack of predictability during sex that counteracts the disinterest brought about by familiarity.

Perel is unique in her potentially troubling claim that good sex is about the interplay of power between partners, and that erotic vitality requires us to move beyond our notions of what is fair and equal in a relationship to embrace our most erotic imaginings.  For many feminists, using  power relations to excite sexuality  is problematic, and potentially misogynistic. However, this misses the insights in Perel’s work that recognize that relationships always are shaped by power dynamics. Power is enacted through the body as part of the social process – and there is no escaping this.  Consciously utilizing the subtle and not so subtle effects of power in our sexual relationships works to keep passion alive, in the bedroom and beyond.  Power, when used with loving awareness is the foundation for playful sexuality.

So, if you are looking to put passion and play back into the bedroom and beyond, give this a read.